is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize