Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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