3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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