The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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