Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
