the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
