sarcasm needs its own font
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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