i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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