i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize