I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
