Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
