no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
