There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
