Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize