I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I smell like Dick and happiness
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
