i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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