I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
