Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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