apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
