ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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