why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
