Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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