god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
