Kiss
Puke
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
