Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
