That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
