all she had left on were here heels. phone five
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
