accomplished twins. life is a go
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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