I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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