just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
