do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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