everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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