Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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