yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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