I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
