fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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