either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
