oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
