you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
