i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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