Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
