just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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