Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
