Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize