therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
