that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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