if only i could text you this smell
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
