I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize