i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
