You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
