when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize