Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
