if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
