All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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